Now I'm relatively new to the location sound business, but I have heard an amazing amount of bad jokes directed at the poor old Sound Guy.
Here's some of the worst (best!?) I have heard on set:
How can you tell which is the Sound Guy's kid at the playground?
They’re the one sitting off to the side watching everyone else have fun.
Whats the difference between a sound person and a mutual fund? A mutual fund eventually matures and makes some money...
Why does thunder follow lightning? Even God has to wait on sound.
What do sound mixers want when they go on vacation? Quiet please.
Yeah, pretty bad. Poor old us, right?
Well I took it upon myself to intensely scour the internet for at least half an hour and came up with a bunch of the best jokes directed at the other departments involved in making cinematic gold. Here they are:
How many cigarettes does a DP smoke a day? One. Why?!!! It takes him all day to light it.
Two Producers are walking down the street and see a really hot chick.
One turns to the other and says "Man, I'd really like to screw her."
The other turns and says: "Oh yeah? Outta what?"
Production Manager: What did the Production Manager give his kids for Christmas? Nothing. But he promised he’d make it up to them on the next one.
PA: How many PAs does it take to screw in a light bulb?
6, 1 to do it, 5 to wish they were asked to do it
Grip: Why do Grips call a pancake a pancake? Because they can't divide beyond 4
Art: What's the heaviest thing the grips carried all day? The art department.
Scripty: What is the height of your average Script Supervisor?
I don't know I’ve never seen them stand up either.
Feel free to send any great production gags you have to firstname.lastname@example.org for our second installment!